Time to face reality

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis, or maybe I've just finally decided to give in to reality. It's time to give up this insane dream of mine of thinking that I'll ever be successful at selling what I create. I've been at this now for the better part of the past 20 years, and I really think that's a long enough test. A test which I am failing miserably at.

I've been fooling myself, escpecially the past five years or so, into thinking that I really do have what it takes to make a go of this. I was wrong, so very wrong.

No matter what "great" ideas I come up with, and no matter how much I promote myself...it just isn't working. Time to face facts, being ordinary just isn't going to cut it, and I just don't know how to be more than ordinary.

Yes, I've had a little success over the years....maybe a couple of hundred or so customers have decided to buy what I have offered......but a couple of hundred over the span of a couple of decades does not equal "success" by anyone's definition. Over the next couple of weeks I'll likely be beginning the process of closing up my shops on the various venues I sell on. I just can't afford them any longer, either financially or mentally. The stress of seeing my stuff just sit there unsold is more of a price than I can afford to pay at this point in my life. I think I'll need to expend the same energy on trying to get a second "real" job that actually gives me a paycheck at the end of the week for the efforts I put in.